Yesterday, I used my Mother’s Day gift certificate to get a 1-hour massage. The kids were in school and well taken care of. The room was dark, and I was able to completely relax. As the massage therapist worked out knots in my shoulders and the tension in my neck and back with warmed bamboo shoots, I realized that taking time like that, spending my time on me and me alone, is something I don’t do enough.
It’s not really something I do at all, actually.
But there’s no reason why not. I should put myself first sometimes too. Inside the business of my life, I make sure that my kids get what they need because I love them, and it’s my responsibility as their mother. But that raises this question: Whose responsibility is it to meet my needs?
The obvious answer is that I am. I’m responsible for putting myself first and making sure I get what I need in my life: healthy food, exercise, love, time. I should tattoo this on my forearm or somewhere else just as obvious because in the time I spent in my massage I found my creative energy. I was recharged mentally while I unwound physically. I and thoughts about stories I want to write, and photos I want to take. And I had ideas of how to combine the two or painting projects to tackle. It was creative clarity that I haven’t felt in a long time.
And then, in the delicious darkness of my massage, I had another thought. My Life Pulp Inspirations, can fill that need for time and space to dream. The encouragement and artistry touch my creative side. But more important, slowing down, taking the time to read something beautiful, to quietly reflect reaches my need for quiet Anna time. I’m realizing that it is time I have to make for myself. It might not be a massage, and my neck might still knot when I am stressed, but moments of calm and quiet each morning might be just what I need.
I’ll let you know how it goes.