In The Next 30 Days

A 30-Day Challenge Closer to Brighter, Shinier, & Happier.

February 21st, 2013

Find Creativity Day 21 | On Schedule

Tonight in yoga, we tried all kinds of inversions. Headstands. Handstands. Forearm stands. Shoulder stands. It was something of the theme tonight, which is cool and kind of scary. I drop the top of my head to the mat between my forearms and my head starts to ache. I can’t really get much past bouncing my toes off the floor, and balancing in a long, tall line, toes toward the ceiling is a long way away.

I’m not disappointed, really. I’m a newbie and things like this don’t come easily. And I’m working on it. But Jessica, the instructor said something that struck me. “If you’re not there yet,” she said, “It’s okay. You’re still awesome. You tried it.” Right. So she says that because she’s an awesome teacher. But then she said this, “And if you’re not there yet, and you really want it, it will happen. Trust in the schedule.”

Trust in the schedule.

Let’s rewind a second, though. On her 90th birthday two weeks ago, my grandmother had a stroke. She ended up in the hospital and from there into the rehabilitation hall of her nursing home. She struggled and fought until she couldn’t. And when she passed away, she did it with grace and strength and poise. So I have been thinking about the timing of things anyways, and then Jessica mentions this unknown schedule for my life that I’m supposed to trust in.

I find life difficult enough on a written schedule. Don’t you? It’s so hard to follow a path that’s clear, one that’s written and obvious. But trusting in a schedule that’s not clear, trusting that you will figure it out, that you will be okay no matter what is a different kind of trust. It’s like walking on a tight rope kind of trust, like driving with your eyes closed.

It’s scary, but it’s exhilarating too. It’s exciting to see and feel change. I won’t deny that quite often it is painful, but I’m trying to feel the excitement too. Trying to see the balance. I am hoping that my growth, my development-creatively, in life, as a mother, a writer, whatever-will come through this balance.

And I’ll let you know if I actually get a handstand.

In other news, I will probably be missing for a couple of days to travel for Mimi’s funeral. Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon. And thanks for understanding.

Tags: life, schedule, yoga
Posted in 30 Days | Find Creativity, Personal | No Comments »

January 30th, 2013

Body & Mind Cleanse Day 30 | My Brain is a Liar

Do you ever get to that point? It’s the point where you just want to stop. To quit. To throw in the towel. To tell the world to suck it. You want to curl up in a tiny ball under the covers with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. I get there too. Often. It happens when I spend a more-hectic-than-normal morning wrestling kids and shuffling them into and out of time out. And it happens when I get close to the end of my 30 Day challenges and I wonder if I can think any more about what that month’s focus is. And it happens pretty early into each and every run I go on.

It’s a crappy feeling. And the feeling just gets worse the more I think on it, the more I dwell. It’s usually at this point in my run I have to turn up the music and ignore my mental feelings. I try to put all the focus into my legs, into my feet. I focus on the power. But it’s not just any power. I have to focus on my power. And this is where the strength to keep going comes from me.

Think about that for a second. All the strength and power you need to get through that feeling of hopelessness or the thought that you can’t do what’s in front of me is already inside of you.

I just got home from this super intense hot yoga session. They’ve moved into a new space, and the ventilation isn’t quite figured out yet. So the room was hotter than normal, and the teacher was a little more intense than normal. And that meant I was sweatier than normal. And really, I sweat a lot. But it was more than the sweat. I was distracted. There was a single hair stuck to my leg. Every time I ended in a pose with my head toward the floor I saw it. So I tried to get it off my leg, and then it was between my fingers. Then I was trying to catch up with the poses, and I’m always a little slower than the rest of the class anyways. Tuesdays are a hard juggle too without school and dance class and errands. The girl next to me dropped to child’s pose. On the other side, the lady was perfectly formed and seemed to be hardly sweating. All this went through my head. I wanted to quit. I really did. I had sweat in my eyes. My muscles were quivering. My brain told me to stop, to step outside for just a second. Run to the restroom. Anything. My brain told me that I couldn’t do it any more. That I need to get in better shape before I come back. My brain told me that it wasn’t enough to get my leg half way up in the air if I couldn’t get it all the way up.

But then I remembered that my brain is a liar. I remembered that my body will do what I want it to do and then some. And even if my leg is only inches off the floor, then that’s better than completely and totally on the floor. And I moved from a standing split (or my version of it) into standing warrior. And I stretched and twisted the best that I could. And I came home feeling better than I otherwise would have. I feel better because yes my body had a good workout. But I also feel better because I exercised my will power too. I pushed myself to my limits. I rocked it.

I found the power that is always inside me. And that feels amazing.

I know this isn’t the most cleansing-related post. But I think this is a lesson that is often forgotten when we challenge ourselves to something new. But in the pushing, in the shoving ourselves to the next level is where we find the strength.

Pushing, not doing, is what makes us stronger.

So what will your next challenge be? Will you wake up every morning of February to watch the sun rise? Will you loose 5 pounds in 5 weeks? Will you start training for a marathon? Will you start writing the novel that bounces around your head? It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do it. Because you can always do it. Always.

And remember that your brain is a liar.

Tags: motivational, personal, workout, yoga
Posted in 30 Days | Body & Mind Cleanse | 6 Comments »

January 14th, 2013

Body & Mind Cleanse Day 14 | Hot Yoga Agrees With Me

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The room was warm to walk into, but air was still flowing as people came or went back out to grab blocks or use the bathroom. But once the doors closed, the room heated quickly. The room was full. Mats stacked against mats; we were practically shoulder to shoulder. And I started sweating with the first downward dog.

Hot yoga was always one of those workouts. You know. The ones that you hear about and never try. The workouts you think are a little too crazy, and I’ll just stick to my interval running, thanks anyway. But it came up over drinks at girls night, and having friends to go with made the class a little more approachable, accessible. I knew I was in good company when I put down my mat next to Amy, and if I slipped and fell on my face, well it would make a good story for the next girls night.

It wasn’t log into the workout before my muscles were shaking, my hand slipping on my mat. I found myself cursing the fact that I finished half my bottle of water on my drive over. And I found myself thankful for waiting to eat my breakfast and wondering if I would keep up, if I could make it through. Every inch of my body was wet. The instructor told me to hold on to the outside of my shins, and my hands slipped off. My fingers couldn’t stay clasped behind my back. Sweat dripped into my eyes.

But at one point, I was on my shoulders, hips up off the floor, legs and toes stretched to the ceiling (excuse me, I don’t know any of the proper pose names) and I found myself wondering something more. That was I realized that this pose was just one in a string of poses I’d completed. It was a pose I never thought I’d get into, never thought I’d reach. And there I was in a room full of mostly strangers and I was pushing myself farther and harder to do things I wouldn’t otherwise do. I’m sure it wasn’t pretty (especially the next moment when the instructor told me to lower my knees to the floor above my shoulders), but it felt good. I was so so hot. And I was working so so hard. But I was also able to push myself farther into each pose. What exhilaration!

I’m not writing this out to brag that I was able to (almost) get my knees on the floor by my ears but more because if there ever was a workout that could detoxify and reinvigorate, it’s hot yoga. And that’s really part of the goal in each workout-to clean your body through sweating, really really sweating. So you move faster through the poses that you would in a typical yoga class, and you sweat so much more.

When class ended, I stepped outside with my girlfriends. The morning was cool, which felt amazing. My shirt was soaked through. My hair looked like I had just stepped out of the shower. My fingers were even pruned. But I didn’t feel drained, or tired even. I was energized, ready to take on what was next.

So what is next for me? I have another date with hot yoga Tuesday evening. Quite honestly, I can’t wait.