You might’ve noticed that I’ve been quiet on this site. It’s been the same everywhere: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest. My house too. Something clicked last Thursday. I was staring down at an overflowing calendar. An email box that I’m drowning in. Kids who need me. And then my 3 year old fell and cracked his head hard enough on a tile floor that we needed a trip to urgent care. That lead to a trip to the ER at the children’s hospital. That (very thankfully) did not lead to the CT scan the first doctor recommended.
But that did lead to an exhausted Mom. Tired Maxwell. And the realization that something had to give.
I needed quiet.
It wasn’t about wanting to be alone or even wanting to feel productive and cross something off the list. This needed quiet was all about self-preservation.
Back in July, I talked about how I pull my inspiration from the crowd and the noise that it creates. And I know I said I was going to try to put myself in the crowd more often, be more present, more involved, and not hide behind my introversion any more.
And I’ve been trying. I volunteered, I’m involved, I’m there. But I’ve learned an important lesson.
Quiet isn’t just what I need at night when I fall asleep. Quiet isn’t just a momentary reprieve. The silence for me is necessary. And I can’t loose track of that while I battle for inspiration and surround myself with amazing and beautiful people.
So this weekend I tried to ignore my blog. And I didn’t do much on Facebook, either on my page or on my personal profile. Instead I read a really awful vampire romance novel. I spent a lot of time with Max. I washed a car seat cover. And I decided what I am going to be for Halloween.
And I recharged when I needed it the most. I tried not to look at my calendar. I tried just to focus on what I needed to see rather than the big picture. And I healed my over-stimulated brain. The self-imposed quiet was mandatory.
It severed as an important reminder of what I need in life isn’t the same as what I feel obligated to do.
And that little lesson feels very big.
Sometimes I look at my scheduled and just dream of erasing it all for a weekend. My brain knows what I need. I love your quiet weekend, and your foggy photos are making me dream of fall.
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I’m dreaming of fall too. The heck with September’s heat.
And quiet-calm-do-nothing weekends are so much more appealing to me that the crazies that I usually have, especially now that kids are in the mix.
Darn it. I wish I could edit a comment. *schedule
Megan recently posted..Brand new information!
As an introvert, I understand just how much I need the quiet (and as an introvert, that is where I get my inspiration). Just this weekend, I apologized in advance to my guy for getting snippy. It was a jammed-packed weekend, with very little downtime or people-free time. I knew it was going to put me on edge, so I gave him the best warning I could. And my Sunday evening, I was in bed by 6:00pm because it was that draining.
Sometime, like this weekend, there is just no way for me to find the right balance. Thankfully, I’ve come to know myself well enough to know how to maintain my balance 90% of the time.
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Good for you Jacki. I am typically very off balance, leaning too far one way or the other. But like you, I get grumpy and on edge when I don’t have the time to detox. Early bedtimes sound like the perfect solution.
I thrive in quiet. It’s like a foot massage for my brain. (What?)
Your weekend sounds amazing!
Loved this post. xo
Angie Mizzell recently posted..The “to-do’s” that inspire me (plus two great summer reads!)
Do you think that quiet is so important because we get so little of it? And I love “foot massage for my brain.” Metaphor perfection.
I am right there with you. Earlier this year I felt that I was doing it all, working 9-5, studying, trying to get my real estate license up and running, volunteering for two organizations, starting a blog, kids, house, husband and family. AND trying to plan my daughter’s sweet 15 party. I was burning out - fast.
I have since scaled down, stepped back and realized that I had to learn to say no and really focus what is most important to me. Now I spend many quiet nights and weekends at home, I have even deactivated my Facebook page for awhile. Less stress = better focus.
Thanks for the post!
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Once again, the student has become the teacher. Thanks for a message that will become a mantra.