Balance is one of those keywords. People throw it around; they look for it everywhere. They talk about balance between work and play. Balance between weights and cardio. Balance with their time or kids or family. And they talk about eating balanced diet. But now that I’m gluten free I’m struggling to find the healthy balance.

My first warning sign that something was wrong came in my hot yoga classes. They’ve quite simple been killing me lately. My downward dogs lack stretch. I’m dropping to my knees for chaturanga. And when this happens once, I can understand. It’s been happening in classes all month long. But it’s more than my run times being slower and yoga being hard. I feel like I need a nap almost every day. I struggle to get out of bed. I’m not chasing my children. My brain feels slow. I’m lethargic.

My switch to gluten free has been my only change, so I’m starting with my diet when I look for a solution. My sluggishness could come from several things. Maybe I don’t have all the wheat out of my system. Maybe I’m eating hidden wheat I didn’t even know was there. Maybe I’ve cut out too many of my energy-giving carbohydrates by cutting out grains. Whatever it is, finding a healthy balance right now feels like I’m trying to juggle chainsaws, it sure is exciting, but there’s a good chance I’m going to hurt myself in the process.

But all I can do is try. And today I’ll make sure to take my vitamins and eat more protein. I have a loaf of gluten free bread in the pantry for lunches, and I’ve scheduled dinners with safe grains (grits, quinoa, corn). And I’ll keep trying. Like most things, this balance is worth waiting for.